Those of you who follow this blog even sporadically will be aware that I’m facing issues at work and have been looking for a change. It’s been about 2.5 months that I’ve been actively applying, scheduling calls with recruiters and meeting HR resources from different industry. In this time, I have attended 2 interviews, 1 of which I failed to crack after dual rounds. There are things which I said and issues which I responded to in a manner that, several people told me later, may not have gone v.well with people looking at a prospective employee. I accepted their word and resolved to learn from the experiences. The second interview was with a famous infrastructure development company & the first round must have been more than 45 days ago. After 3 rounds – during which I have made presentations to their entire marketing & communications team, travelled to their office thrice, even presented a plan to their key sales director – I was informed that I was finally through & was to come to collect the offer letter as well as complete a final round of formalities with their HR.
Early in the morning I trekked halfway across town for this meeting where I was informed that ever body worked 6 days a week in this company. Of late, more and more companies are embracing the working-Saturday culture and I have always made it clear that I will not consider such corporations. I remember clearly stating this to their head of Corp Comm. during my initial interview where he’d assured me that only the ‘Operations’ team worked on Saturdays. When I mentioned this to their HR today, they said that since he (GM, Corp Comm) was a new joinee, he may have been unaware of the company’s policy! Now I’m thinking -does that mean he has been working on Saturdays without being aware of it? Or has their policy changed since the time my first interview took place? Had I suddenly developed herpes or grown a second nose that they'd changed their minds? ! I am still lost.
For a few minutes, I felt everything go cold. I was afraid I would burst into tears right there. After a while he trooped down from his cabin on the 6th floor and apologized for the misunderstanding explaining "these things happen you know, I have so many things on my mind since we are trying to develop many new modules together with the marketing team. Anyway, during our conversations you have assured me that you possess a deep emotional connect with your work so I would say give this a shot.” I realized that this man who had wasted so much of my time over the last 45 days was being absolutely flippant, was not even aware that he had behaved irresponsibly, either through misinformation or some other reason. The realization of right and wrong is a deeply personal one and one of my oddities is that despite my temper and sharp tongue, the times when i am really disappointed or stunned by someone's callousness, i am unable to retort. There wasn’t much to be said after that & I left.
As I sat in the car, I don’t know if I was more livid or sad or just indignant. Yday had been a hell of a day as well. I’d had a huge argument with someone I’ve unconditionally supported over the years. Let’s just say that she said things & behaved in a manner which I would never have thought her capable of. I felt let down and I’d been trying my best to keep that incident at bay since I knew I’d to get the offer letter today. In the car it all came back – her words, other’s words, some lies, people leaving without a goodbye, as also the fact that I hadn’t collected the offer letter finally. After giving it some thought, I decided, “Let me see how I can get through today without thinking about these things?”
I had almost the whole day ahead and it’s evening as I sit writing this. I am not sure if I succeeded entirely, but it was better than what it would have been in the past, that I know. I came back to office and worked steadily most of the day. In between, kept recalling a friend's advice regarding what I should wear for the final meeting. I was very touched when he'd offered his views and in an odd way, it felt like I'd let him down too by returning empty handed.
Maybe what they say is true - the people who are born to let you down, will always let you down – at home, outside, in the workplace, everywhere. While others will stand by you. The trick is to not to care too much about such things.